Wednesday, November 15, 2017

130 Pounds of WHAT?

I can't believe a month has gone by already!  Thank you all for following along with me on this journey.  It's become a lot more than I anticipated!

I never expected to learn as much as I have this past month.  What started out as a vlog about losing weight became a quest for information about why I can't escape the clutches of unhealthy food.

Many moons ago, I took a Nutrition Course in college from Annmarie Colbin, a brilliant woman who owns a culinary school in Manhattan and has published multiple books about food and nutrition.  She opened my eyes to the disgusting crap that can be found in food.  The education I got on olive oil and fat free condiments alone was worth the price of those credits  (plus she's very funny, which made me love her even more!)

Then I became a health coach after losing weight 3 years ago and learned so much about how our bodies work in regards to what we put in them from Dr. Wayne Anderson (another very witty fella).  I have to admit that my weight gain had NOTHING to do with everything that he taught me.  Had I continued eating like a normal healthy human being, I would still be 33lbs lighter!  

So, imagine my surprise when I started this journey and gained all of this insight on will power and sugar and cravings.  Today, I gained another tiny tidbit that has knocked my socks off and I thought I'd share:  

Oh yes.  Can you see the light more clearly now?  I know I can!  I think that if we consumed 130 pounds of anything slightly addictive in one year we would surely be a slave to it by the time we finished.  

The visual of that much sugar in cube form just sends the message home.  Here's another one for ya:
There are 56 skittles in one regular bag, so that's 31, 570 bags of Skittles

This is the same amount of sugar as found in two 12oz cans of regular soda

200 years ago we were eating 1/17th of the amount of sugar???

I'm just going to let this all settle in.....

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Sunday, November 12, 2017

Practice What I Preach

I'm having a rough few days and the last thing I wanted to do was update my vlog.  I prefer to hide in a bubble during these times.

However, I don't think it's really fair to only post when things are going well.  It's not realistic either.   If nothing else, I'd like to remain genuine during this process, so that means I need to include the good AND the bad.

If you have any words of wisdom, please feel free to share!!!

So, here's my update.....I tried to lighten it up a bit:

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Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Don't Be Dopey

I can't believe this, but THIS post.... this one right here....  THIS'UN HITHER.... is my 100th post.

Do you know what that means?

That means that there were 100 times that I felt the need to talk to strangers.  Yup.

Because if I know you, you've probably heard a lot of what I've babbled or ranted on and on about.  You probably got it straight from the horse's mouth at one time or another.

I'll have you know that I didn't realize this little 100th Post factoid until after I did my little video, so there will be no celebratory hooplah going on.   In fact, I was so jazzed up about my topic today that I almost didn't write anything here at all.  I was going to just post the video.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm really digging this book I've been reading,  The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal, PhD.  I've never been a "sciency" person, so I was surprised that this book grabbed my attention and held it for so long.  Even mores, I can't believe how excited I am to share and relate to the information.

I've been struggling with my biology for a long time.  In my brain, I can be a size 2 with no problem! But then something sneaky creeps up and pushes me off my path, and I'm left standing there going, WHYYYYY????!!!

I now see that I have to evaluate my ENTIRE self to understand why I keep sabotaging myself.  It's not all physical and it's not all mental.  It's everything.  And I'm a bit uninformed.  But I'm learning!  I'll probably get it all figured out when I'm 93.... or 10 minutes before I get taken out by foliage (because, as I've mentioned, foliage is going to be what causes my demise!)

Today's video is about dopamine.  And manipulation.  And hot pretzels.  And struggle.  And monsters.  And Christmas music.  Oh yeah..... it's got ALL of those things in it.  Prepare yourself!

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Saturday, November 4, 2017

What So Funny?

Thursday was completely craptastic in regards to "regular life".  I define Regular Life as everything that happens beyond my control.  Truck breaks down, clients neighbor yells at me for my clients dog's behavior, I step in dog crap, etc.  Just life.

As my incredibly fabulous therapist has trained me to do (nope.....still not sharing his info....he's too valuable and I'm kinda greedy with my sanity maintenance), I "used my humor" to cope with the stressful things going on around me.  It also made me consider that laughter could be handy with getting me through the really tough craving times.  So, I have downloaded my favorite stand up shows to my phone for those moments when sugar starts screaming my name. I'll let you know how that works out.  R&D starts now.

One of my top prerequisites in choosing relationships is a sense of humor. You can only understand how important this quality is when find yourself buckled over, laughing your ass off.... only to look  at the person you're with and see that they haven't even mustered up a smirk.  Utter disappointment.  Relationship O-VAH!

On the flip side, have you ever had a laugh so hard that the person you were with only has to say one word or short phrase, and for the rest of your life the two of you will giggle when you hear it? (Audrey: chiffon!   Craig: Supplies!  Kelly & Rose: CAA. Ron: she turned me into a newt...I got bettah!)   That's totally priceless to me!

That's what my ramblings are about this time.  Please leave recommendations in the comments if you have any!!!  I'm always looking for new stuff!

I had wanted to share one particular clip of Eddie Murphy (Google "Eddie Murphy finding an African wife"), but I try to avoid posting things that might make my mama call me immediately and yell, "I just saw what you posted....You need to take that down immediately!" (And yes, that has happened to me at the ripe old age of 45....and I obeyed)

So, here are some "less-profane" samples of the comedians I mentioned:

Jim Breuer:
This is an older bit, but my favorite story that he tells with an impression....the glorious Dave Chapelle.   I can SEE it in my head:

Kathleen Madigan:
While her stories abou her parents are the best, this is her tearing thru the first five minutes of my recorded favorite show:

Eddie Izzard:
If you can appreciate finding humor in the ridiculousness of religion, this is great:

Chris Rock:
Best PSA ever.

Yours In Laughter,
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Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Three Days of Diet Insanity

That's what it felt like.  Insanity.  Especially with anything that involved me trying to eat (and DRINK) correctly.

I took a few moments each day to record a video, but I couldn't seem to process written words in my brain.  Maybe it was the latte withdrawals.

Regardless of the reason, here I am with three different video reports.  I'm sorry to overwhelm you with my Vickiness, but that's just kinda how it worked out.

Let's start with Day One of Lattelessness.  It was a doozie, but I think I'm officially "off the lattes".  Here we go:

Yesterday was kinda rough.  I wasn't feeling so good about myself for most of the day.  My self image was kinda in the crapper, which had me feeling a bit nervous before trick or treating.  I hate "non-delusional days" when the reality of my situation kicks in.  You'll see what I mean:

And last but certainly not least, here's my post-Halloween report.  I had some interesting research and development (good ole R&D!) findings that I wish someone else would test with me, as well as a little message at the end for my friends who have not been sucked into "the parent vortex".

Hope you all had a nice Halloween, and here's a little giggler that I found on the website of an awesome local author, Heather M. Gardner, who writes fabulous romance novels:

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Sunday, October 29, 2017

The Final Betrayal By My Arch Nemesis

Sounds like a juicy headline, doesn't it?  

There's no interpersonal drama going on, so if you're looking for seedy gossip, I apologize.

But I am angry.  And I'm annoyed. And just plain pissed.  😠

Day 14 isn't going as planned, but I guess that is to be expected.  And to be honest, I never found it to be much fun to follow people who have their "eternal bliss" on display at all times. Rest assured, there's no bliss here today!

And I hope you weren't terribly distracted by my half missing makeup or the random dog hair all over my sweatshirt.  Just trying to keep it real 😉

Love to you all xoxox ❤️

Friday, October 27, 2017

Biological Bruhaha and Things Like That There

Wait until you see the thumbnail photo that goes with my blog video this time.   Oh my frickin' gawd.

Go ahead.  Take a minute to scroll down and have a gander.  It's effin' atrocious.  😠

I'm going to make it my mission to find out how to change those damn things.  I can't get over how YouTube manages to find the most hideous facial expression in each video and then says, "Yes.  Yes, this is the one.  This one represents the theme of the video most accurately."  Then there's a pause, followed by the loudest "MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA" ever.

Bastages.  (I'm shaking my fist at them)

Anywho!  I crammed a lot of babble into today's video.  I'll be honest took multiple takes for me to get this done in under 12 minutes.

For those of you who wondered exactly how long it would take me to figure this piece of information  out:

I am now fully aware that I ramble on occasion ....often.  I am sorry.  I am especially sympathetic to my mother, who has to listen to me babble like this daily.  She doesn't get to escape the wrath of my rambles like the rest of you do.

I love you, mama!  😘

With that being said, I made a bit of a boo-boo yesterday, but I managed to turn it into a learning lesson.  A "teachable moment", if you will.  After my confession, I analyzed the bejeezus out of my behavior and came up with this:

I swear to God, someone who works at YouTube hates me.

For those of you who made it past minute 10, I am very sincere about my gratitude.  Thank you so much for keeping me on track.  I'd be grateful if I had only one person who is tolerating my jibber-jabber right now.... even if that one person is just sitting there waiting for me to screw up!  😏  Motivation is motivation, no matter how ya' get it.  Fortunately, Im far more blessed than that and I appreciate each one of you!!!

And to wrap this all up, I'm just going to include some entertaining memes.  Why?  Because I'm hoping that if a photo pops up when I post this video, IT'S NOT THE ONE FROM YOUTUBE!  Sweet Jesus!

Love to you all!  xoxoxox

Tee! Hee!  How many of us have envisioned this....?

It's true!  I'm like Joey from FRIENDS.... I just wanna put my fat pants on and eat!

AMEN!  The sweater situation is spot on!

This would be my husband.  I can actually see this becoming a reality some day.

I'm sure everyone else but me already knew this.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Pasta, Beans and the Pre-Frontal Cortex

Today was a big day for learnin'.  I was feeling ancy and couldn't concentrate on any fictional books in my Audible stash, so I delved into some of health books in my archives.  After a few hours, I was so  excited about the information that had permeated my brain matter (I'm feeling like a smartypants....just humor me) that I decided that I had to share it with you right away.

In my excitement, I got a little tongue-tied a few times, but hopefully I get my points across.  I was all worked up about my new "Pasta Intel".   Take a peek and I'll clarify my point afterward:

I know that I stumbled through the bean info, so just to be a little more clear, let me write it out.  A serving of black beans is usually one cup.  In that cup, you'll get 12 yummy grams of protein and 9 filling grams of fiber.  Whoo hooo!  As a bonus, you get some fancy folate which (stokes) muscle growth, as well as some tasty copper to help strengthen your tendons.  Yowza!  Beans are sounding like a fabulous choice, aren't they?

And I wasn't foolin' when I mentioned that eating four servings of beans or legumes each week will accelerate weight loss.  I feel a big ole batch of extra beany chili in my near future.

So, after the whole pasta and bean excitement died down, I listened to a new book that I found after searching on line for information about will power.  Here's more about that..... and bear with me..... just when you start to worry about whether I had been drinking excessively while recording the following video, I bring it all together and make it simple.  Enjoy! 😉

Monday, October 23, 2017

The 80/20 Rule

I think that fall has officially arrived in New York State today. They claim that it arrived a while ago, but in my head, it's not officially autumn until you are no longer able to wear shorts in public and look like a normal person.  

The color change of the leaves and overcast skies are also an indication of fall....but if I see you in shorts,  I'm judging you.  Shorts should no longer be part of your wardrobe selection in New York, unless you're exercising.

Which brings me to today's babble. The 80/20 rule is one of my favorites.....not to be confused with Van Halen's OU812, although it is also consumption related.

(I know, I know....they all can't be witty little winners.  Sorry 😐 )

Anyway.....I did not inherit the Gym Joy Gene. I feel no rush of happiness when thinking about any exercise facility.  

None. Nada. Zippo. Zero. Zilch!

Clearly, there must be a Gym Joy Gene in my family, because I frequently see pictures on Instagram of my older brother working out, or my little sister in the gym locker room, all jazzed up and ready to go and lift heavy shit.  I look at those photos and feel a mixture of pride and envy; I'm very proud of them for taking such good care of themselves, but damn if I'm not envious of their drive to work out!  (Or even to put on workout clothes.) The only drive I've ever had was the one that put my ass in a car to score myself some donuts!

Fortunately there's that lovely 80/20 Rule that fits right into my own physical activity and exercise regimen.    

Scientific findings after my own heart!

Here's more about that:

(Seriously, where do they get these thumbnails for videos?  It must be a conspiracy of some sort 🤔)

(Note: if you are reading this via email, you won't see a video.  Click on the Blog title toward the top of the email to go directly to the page)

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Oh, The Pizza!

I'm on day six of Operation Healthypants and I can't wait until this day is over!  As always, there are ups and downs, because as someone very annoying once said, you wouldn't be able to appreciate the sad times if it weren't for the happy times. That person may have a very valid point, but today it's just a bunch of obnoxious words strung together to amplify how disgruntled I am at the moment.

So here's what happened:

(Note: if you're reading this blog via email, you may not see the video.  Please click on the following link Day 6 Video

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Sweet Talk

This whole Vlog thing is definitely much more convenient, but just as equally strange. I'm far more comfortable sitting at a keyboard, typing the words as they come flying into my head.  And at a home office, you can sit there in your jammies, sporting a bed head coiffure, with a charcoal mask on your face and no one has any idea that you look like a disaster.   You just have to SOUND like you've got your shit together.

Most of my day is spent alone, so I do a lot of thinking.  (I also do a lot of very bad singing along with the radio, but I promise to spare you from that hellacious experience). 

Sometimes I'm mulling over the direction I can take the characters in my book (Yup... I'm STILL writing.). On a good day, ideas are flying in and out of my head... and they are literally flying, because it never fails that by the time I pull over to write them down, they're long gone.
In the midst of all of that, I think about things going on in my life or in the world around me. If I had a dollar for every time that I said, " this would make an excellent subject for a blog post!", you and I would be sitting somewhere having a fabulous lunch at an expensive restaurant.
Alas, you are over there, reading these ramblings, and I am over here, trying to get this out of my head and in writing.  Next time, less writing and more convenient video.
So, without further ado, I present to you today's babble about my arch nemesis .... sugar. 
Ps.  Proof that my child doesn't just eat crap in case you decided that I'm a bad mother after hearing about what's  in my garage:

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Goodbye Stranger

I started this blog a bunch of years ago  when my daughter was a wee toddler and I was trying to find a way to cope with being a working mom with a handicapped husband.    

The main issue at that time was that I felt as though my daughter had bonded with my husband far more than she had bonded with me. Of course this is to be expected, considering that he spent every day with her, as he was unable to leave our home due to his medical condition.  In turn, that meant that I was working every day and wasn't at home as much as we ALL would've liked.

I'm pleased to say that things have changed since then. With lots of work, communication, debating, arguing, hurt feelings, guilt, rejection, and forgiveness we have managed to find a situation where we all are happy together and everybody feels loved and supported (most of the one is perfect!)  I'd sum up that time period as "a pretty rough start to 
what has potential to finish as a success story".  Yay for us!

Recent milestones outside of my little wolf pack have triggered some new issues that I need to deal with. It seems like the issues never end, doesn't it?   I think that's the whole thing about life. We just keep plugging along looking for answers, and try to be grateful that we have questions that keep popping up. I think once you stop having issues, there's not a whole lot of breathing or bodily functions going on at that point (a/k/a you're dead).

Moving on, now I need to start taking care of my heath and this is the new general-issue that I'm tackling. I keep thinking that I wish I have appreciated youth and good health more.  I took all of those easy years for granted!

Some of you may know that 2017 started off with a big old rough patch for me. From January through early May, I had all sorts of crazy symptoms, saw almost every kind of doctor (Im still avoiding the proctologist!  45 years and counting.....Score!), and ended up with absolutely no answers.  It was a pretty scary time for me. 

Worse yet, I'd become so desperate for ANY diagnosis, that every single doctor who told me they didn't know what was wrong with me got to witness 'Vicki In Tears'.  And I'm not a pretty crier, just in case you were wondering.  One physician stared at me in horror. 

Surprisingly, I also became desperate to hear anything in regards to what was going on with me. And I mean anything. I would go to appointments to obtain test results, and tell myself that I would be happy even if they diagnosed me with cancer, because it least it would be an answer and I could treat something.  I just wanted a chance of being me again.

As I mentioned, I never got any answers. Lots of treatments and medications and recommendations, but no answers. The one thing that I did have was a friend who knew exactly what I was going through.  That in itself was priceless.   

Wendy IS priceless.  And a warrior.  And wise.  And she didn't leave me alone when I needed someone to keep heaving my ass up and push me along my path.  (This'll freak her out....) She was like my own little mortal Jesus, carrying me when I was too pathetic to walk thru life. Lol!

"I worry when you get quiet.  Send proof of life."  Those words let me know that I couldn't just shut down and hide with my family.  I had someone to answer to.

Then there was guilt.  Guilt because while I was so happy to have someone who understood, I also love her greatly and wanted her to find answers to HER issue and relief of her own. She is still searching for that. She was my rock..... and she still suffers while I am feeling better.  

I'm sure you're wondering what my point is here, aren't you?

My point is twofold.

Number one, I'm so grateful for Wendy. She taught me many things, but one of the largest lessons is my number two.  (Meaning, my second point... not my poop)

Number two, nobody likes to go through crap alone. And there are a lot of us struggling with so many different trials and tribulations and dramas and traumas.  We should try to come together and support each other, especially when you find somebody desperately trying to cope with an issue similar to yours.

(Side note:  Dont sink...SWIM!  It's essential to find someone who will float with you, not drag you down.  If you feel like you're drowning with them, BAIL!)

So, I'm putting my shit out there. I believe that a good portion of the things that ail me are a result of the fact I'm extremely unhealthy right now.  Granted, I rarely drink and I quit smoking over a decade ago. The only drugs I take or ones the doctors prescribe. I see a therapist regularly to help me deal with the ups and downs of life, as well as to help me interpret my husband. 

I say interpret, because I swear we speak different languages sometimes and my therapist is excellent at Manterpretation.  And no, you may not have his name and number, because he is totally fucking excellent and I don't want anybody infringing on his availability to me.  (Lol)

Hopefully I'll be able to honor my commitment here, because what I'm getting at is that I'm going to be posting my journey on my blog. I hope to succeed, but I imagine there will be some failures along the way, because even though my husband tells me that I think I'm always right, I know it's not true.

Feel free to comment, offer encouragement, cry on my shoulder, commiserate, and any thing else you feel like adding along the way.  And if you would like to join me in the efforts, I would be honored.

Here's my first entry:


Ps. Don't judge the hair and makeup....I work outside and I'm sickly, so cut a sister some slack!