Wow. That was a long "24 hour"s. 🙄
Let me start where I left off.
I went to the workout. I was soooooo nervous and totally freaked out and completely anxiety- ridden. All I kept thinking about was how out of shape I was going to be compared to everyone else. And, really, it did me no good.
Everyone starts somewhere. Nobody is born looking like an Olympic athlete. You never hear about babies bursting out of the womb and bench pressing the changing table. "Drop and give me 50" said no pediatrician ever.
Except for maybe this baby's doctor
Anyway, my therapist, Steve, always says to "identify the fear" when I get like this. And then determine "if it's a rational fear or not".
Just the word FEAR kind of straightened me out. It's a freakin' workout class.....with friends.....taught by someone I trust more than most family members. What is there to be AFRAID of?
Nothing. And as I pulled into the parking lot, I became blessedly fearless and totally psyched. I was a tad nervous, but I think that's a rational reaction.
I was definitely a new kid on the block in the workout world, but it all felt very normal to not be able to lift a lot of weight, or do reverse lunges with my knee far from touching the floor. I giggled with Lynn when we lost our balance using our resistance bands for curls. And Rose and I shot each other desperate looks when Trish called out, "Okay....let's do it all again" after a grueling set of side planks and crunches.
Again, everyone starts somewhere. I looked at that class as being my baseline by which I would measure every workout to come. Cuz I was gonna go back. I knew it when I packed up my equipment. I accomplished stuff and I felt completely awesome afterward!
Don't we look happy post-workout? I love them ever so. Me and my girls......
Flash forward to yesterday and, while I still can't do some things well, I know that my knee was waaaaaay closer to the floor than it was two months ago while doing my reverse lunges. And I have increased weight and amount of resistance to my workout. My biceps jiggle a lot less when I shake my arms and I can do some killer squats.
Here is the biggest shocker of them all.....
I'm having hand surgery in a few days and I'M GOING TO MISS GOING TO MY CLASS!
I can't believe I just typed those words in reference to working out, and yet I mean them with every fiber of my being. In June, if you told me that I would be longing for the exact thing that I was totally freaked out to even start, I would've told you that you were completely bonkers.
But it's true. Totally true story.