Howdy partners! It's been awhile. I hope you're enjoying this slightly chilly transition into Spring. I think Mother Nature is done asking us to "hold her beer" so she can show off with her dazzling displays of bombagenesis and whatnot. Finally.....’tis time for blooming, everyone!
The great thing about Spring is that it's a fresh beginning for the Earth. Everything that grows gets to come out and reveal itself in all of its glory.
I'm having a Personal Spring of my own.
I was quite nervous about this post. No, quite isn't the word. I was SERIOUSLY FREAKING NERVOUS about this post. Yeah, that's more accurate. (And the caps are totally necessary.)
I had a physical setback in the form of a broken bone at the beginning of February. For 40+ years, I've avoided any physical injury that might seriously interfere with my life. Mental drama, sure! Physical trauma, not so much.
The funny thing about physical trauma is that in the true fashion of misery, it loves company.... in the form of mental drama. Being unable to do every day things like brush my hair or put on a bra or cut up vegetables or even open a can of pet food wreaked havoc on my brain. For someone who prides themselves on being independent and able to take on the world, all of this sent me into a fit of depression.
(Side note: Nothing is worse than needing your husband to help you with personal feminine items, just in case you were wondering what the worst part could have been. It was humbling and mortifying, to say the least.)
So, there I was in my deep depression, needing assistance, and randomly bursting into a pity party at any moment when I had an awakening. A Personal Spring of sorts.
The situation revealed that my preferred method of coping with stress was not normal. It was far from normal and it was spiraling out of control. For 20+ years, I developed and perfected a coping mechanism that no one knew about.
How did I do this for so long and not realize it was a problem, not a solution?! When had my extreme behavior become normalized in my mind?! Had I gone too far to turn back?!
I was so good at keeping my behavior a secret that no one knew. No one. Not my family. Not my dearest friends. Not even my pets! (Cuz pets are people too, you know. They see crap; they just don't tell anyone.) (I know....it's not normal.)
Unable to cope with the reality of my situation, I knew I had to tell someone because, clearly, I wasn't able to help myself. I didn't even see myself as "messed up" until 20 years had passed! So, I swallowed my shame and embarrassment and pride and told my husband. And he encouraged me to tell my mom as well. And before I knew it, I had stopped running in circles and began moving forward in a straight line.
You know, I bet it was the dizziness from running in circles for 20 years that had me thinking everything was normal! I am blond, you know.
So, in conclusion, let me introduce you to my Personal Spring. (Click here if you do not see a video below)
Links to the sources in the video are below.... scroll down!
There ya have it! All the deets.
That scared the bejeezus out of me. All of the thoughts and fears I had of being judged or wondering if my friends would treat me differently were pushed aside when I asked my mom, "What do you think about me putting this out there?"
Her answer? "We need to share things like this. Maya Angelou did it when she put out I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings about the hardships she went through and she made a difference. So, why wouldn't you talk about this?" My mother made me feel like I was as important as Maya Angelou, y'all! How freaking awesome is she at being a mom?! Damn, I'm lucky!
I also feel compelled to add this statement in reference to this post and other previous blog posts:
With that, I'm going to leave you with something beautiful. If you are a woman, take a moment to read through this and see the beauty in it... because it's about all of us. Really. Feel Phenomenal!
Lydia Wente's site: http://www.lydiawente.com
Lydia's YouTube channel:
Summer Innanen's book: https://tinyurl.com/ycdxxw9l
Wendy Hendry's book: https://tinyurl.com/y7yvuckz
If you clickity click on the banner below, it will seem like nothing happened, but it did! You can close the window as soon as it opens if you like. T'anks peeps!