AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHH!!!!
I am bugging out a bit.
Next Thursday my little Peanut will be venturing out of her bubble into the world of education. Of course this was my idea, but as a concept it was a lot easier to deal with than the reality of it. Suddenly, I cannot fathom taking Allie somewhere, giving her a hug and kiss, and leaving her with strangers for 2.5 hours twice a week.
Way back in May it seemed like such a great idea. Allie doesn't have a lot of time under her little belt with other children. After all, Justin has been her playmate all week long for the past 2 years and 11 months. Forty year olds are a smidgen different than 3 and 4 year olds. First of all, they can't drive. That totally inhibits the whole destination play date thing. And then there's the whole "knowing where things are" benefit. And let us not forget the ability to reach things above the counter. Everyone knows that the really good stuff is just out of their reach.
So, preschool seemed like the obvious choice. Now that she's talking up a storm, it was time to introduce her to groups of kids her age as well as a school environment. In May I was very excited about her making new little friends and learning things that little people need to know.
I narrowed the choices down to two schools and we went to both to see what it was all about. I honestly had the worst time deciding on where to go. Both were amazing. However, a friend of mine, whose opinion I respect, sends his daughter to one of them and he sold me on one of them. By the time I hung up the phone, I knew exactly where she was going to go.
Well, the time has come. And I have all of these thoughts flying through my head.
Does she need a backpack?
What will she wear the first day?
Will she be excited?
Is this the start of her becoming influenced by her peers already?
Will she cry when we drop her off?
Will we be sobbing like big ole sissies when we drop her off?
And most of all, who in the hell is going to watch Justin all morning??? I need a husbandsitter if anyone is available. I can't pay much but he's very chatty and knows how to fix pretty much everything. You can bring your broken crap with you and if you have any dramas you need an outside opinion on, he can give you his seven-thousand-dollars-worth (dime shmime!) Did I mention he was chatty?
Allie is going through a serious shy stage right now where she clings to us when she goes somewhere new. If we try to create a millimeter gap between her and us during these moments, she cries. She almost seems terrified. She wasn't going through this in May. Isn't this a lovely time for this phase to start? What if it happens when we get there Thursday? I really don't think they are going to let us hang out for the morning with the other toddlers (even though I bet Justin tries to blend in and do it!)
I know that there are people reading this who have been at this milestone and I'm sure everyone survived. In fact, those people are either reminiscing about when they dropped their little crumb cruncher off at preschool for the first time, feeling sympathetic toward my situation, or they are laughing at me right now. And after next week, I will be doing the same thing when someone else tells me this same story.
I just wish she could stay sweet and innocent and small for a bit longer. I'm very excited about the next step and all that she will gain from the experience, but it can be scary way out yonder when you're by yourself. I wonder if I can hover? I have visions of me peeking throughout a window, watching her play with other children, seeing something that is potentially bothersome, banging the crap out of the window screaming "Allie, don't you take that crap!" and scaring the bajeezus out of the entire group.
This would be immediately before the owner of the school files a restraining order.
Okay. I'm done with my rant. I'm still freaking out a bit but I thank you for listening.
(This is where you say "No problem" and tell me how everything is going to be just fine)
