There's a really weird bond that can be created by television. Have you ever met someone new and discovered that they watch the same shows you do and immediately you feel this kinship with them? Like, just because they watch Dexter or The Good Wife, they're cool with you and you can become potential besties.
I remember getting my nails done years ago and all of the women who worked there were speaking to each other in Korean and the customers were just kind of looking around, smiling at each other if they happened to glance at each other at the same time. There was a TV over my manicurist's head and I saw a Sopranos commercial come on. There was a preview for the episode when Adrienne "goes missing" and we all kind of gasped.
BAM! Instant kinship.
"Oh my gawd, did you see that?" "I bet they killed her." "No, Tony would never do that to Christopher!" "She was such an idiot. Why would she become a rat?" And then suddenly East met West and all of the Korean girls were talking to all of us on the other side of the tables. It was like the UN! It was the day that we all bonded at Fancy Nail. Over kidnapping, murder and Mafia family values.
|The welcome wagon from The United Nations of Sopranos. Not quite warm and fuzzy but they got the job done.
Flash forward a bunch of years and I'm posting on Facebook about how the Bubble Guppies songs are stuck in my head and I can't decide if its time for lunch or if everyone should line up and go outside. Right away my phone starts alerting me to responses. All of these other moms/grandmothers are hitting me with lyrics and hilarious sympathy. I felt really connected to that group of people right then. Over cartoon fish people who sing.
|Click here to hear and see the highly addictive Outside Song....Warning : It sticks with ya
Then, there is the super weird bond over which we morph TV interests and start liking crap we never thought we would even KNOW the titles of because of who we live with. I find myself alerting Justin that Gas Monkey is on in a half hour and "dont forget to tape Devil's Ride so I can see what happens later". And Storage Wars has no mercy with picking a scheduled time for new episodes, so if its on we stop surfing and watch it.
One day (please forgive me, my VERY masculine husband) I come home to find that while he was sick, he watched the whole last season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and he couldn't believe "those crazy bitches kept me from changing the channel for six hours!" Suddenly, Im in luring him in with housewife insanity from four other cities and he's asking if I want him to set up Andy Cohen's WWHL on the DVR...cuz you KNOW he's got the 411, so you have to add that too.
|The Bill Gates of Bitchy, Narcissistic, Campy Reality Television: Andy Cohen
(Note: I do feel bad about the Housewives thing. I knew full well that he wouldn't be able to help himself once it was in on and in his face. It was wrong, I know.)
Amongst the Duck Dynasty reruns are fifty thousand Peppa Pigs we save for Allie on the DVR. We know all of the episodes ("this is the one where Daddy Pig forgets his blueprints at home and they make paper airplanes out of them") and we quickly learned the Mickey Mouse Club Hot Dog dance after seeing every episode on the Disney Channel and YouTube. Now we are dragging a third person into our web of television insanity.
There was one particular day that this theory about television connecting people became very clear. Justin came home and Allie had fallen asleep earlier with her head on my lap while we sat on the couch watching The Fresh Beat Band. It was an hour long special where they remade the Wizard of Oz. The show started at 4pm and he came home at 450pm (yes, its important to know the time). He asks when she fell asleep and i tell him 415pm. Then he starts talking to me about some medication situation at the the pharmacy (you know....Important stuff!) and I yell, "SHHUSHH! We are watching this! We already invested fifty minutes and its almost over. Can you just hang on??"
Are you right there with him on this one? You can take sides, its ok.
He looks at me deadpan and asks, "WHAT TIME did she fall asleep?"
"415. I just told you that! " I had the audacity to start getting annoyed.
His eyebrows go up and he hits me with, "so WHO is watching this??"
Busted. And a bit embarrassed. My excuse for watching Nick Jr shows is asleep and yet I've been dragged into the BABY vortex......by a two year old who conked out, and four overly peppy adults pretending they are quirky teenagers while singing catchy songs.
Personally, I think I've been set up. I think he used Allie to get even with me for the Housewives franchise invasion. And I was caught in the act without an alibi, nonetheless.
Well played, husband. Well played......